This Thanksgiving was our first holiday since becoming a military family. This was the first holiday one of us was missing. This was the first holiday of many more to come when I wonder what my son is doing, how he is, what he is eating, and who he is with. Letting go has been tougher than I thought it would be. The house is very, very quiet.
I think I took our togetherness for granted. I just always assumed that no matter where my sons went to school or where they moved, they would be home certain times of the year. They could decide when to leave, hop on a plane, and stay as long as they liked. We are learning the military has many hoops to jump through if one wants leave during the holidays. And the sooner one jumps, the better. My son’s time, travel, and whereabouts are now dictated by this entity which has control over him for the next four years. It is an interesting concept to adjust to. I’m beginning to understand what ‘sacrifice’ means.
While I may be thinking about loss on different levels, I am thankful this year for many, many things. I’m thankful my oldest son is safe, in this country for now, and that he has a plan for his life for the next few years. I’m thankful that when I talk to him he sounds upbeat. I’m thankful God has blessed him with eternal optimism (although he would argue that.) I am thankful my youngest son is home from college. (I love hearing him laugh.) I’m thankful for my husband who is strong, industrious, and patient. I’m thankful we raised our sons in the fear and admonition of the Lord so they can go into a hostile world and stand for their beliefs. I’m thankful for friends and extended family who deal with me with humor and kindness. I am thankful for the quiet and contemplation of this Thanksgiving. It is creating in me empathy for military families I would not have otherwise.
And I am thankful for the unknown. As I learned years ago, many blessings wait beyond the blinders of life’s current circumstances.
