My husband and I have been married 22 years. (Thank you.) Like many couples who have spent a few decades together, we have our own system of communication which continues to develop as our relationship matures. We started out using coded words then went to monosyllabic words to save time. We think so much alike about so many things now our reactions are predictable. So, our communication system is devolving into a series of grunts and sounds. Pretty soon it will include only gestures. By the time we reach our Golden Anniversary we will be completely psycho (I mean psychic) and cease speaking all together. The people at the home will probably mistake our silence for indifference.
My husband noted that I am the one using coded language the most. Every time I say the word “we” I really mean him. As in “You know we (you) really need to paint the living room someday.” And "We (you) should hang those pictures." I thought this passive-aggressive form of communication was normal. It seemed to work pretty well for the past 20 years. My husband tried it on me recently.
Him: “We (you) should finish planting those flowers out back.”
Me: “Thank you!” Seriously, I thought he was offering.
Our monosyllabic words are usually uttered in reaction to something that bugs us both. For example, on our way to Tahoe last summer we were driving on a narrow mountain road when someone stopped their car directly in front of us, opened their door into oncoming traffic, and got out.
Me: “Wow.”
Him: “Yep.”
Actually our words were different. And there was a string of them. And some of them had more than one syllable. But sometimes if the situation is not life threatening, I’ll simply press my lips together and utter “Mmm-hm.” My husband will reply “Yep.” Because we know what the other is thinking it is not necessary for us to yammer on and on about it.
Our psychic ability is really kicking in. We read each others' mind so often now we stopped commenting on it. We were driving in the desert recently and I couldn't believe how many people had packed the side of the road to look at flowers. We just spent a couple of hours together in the car not saying a word. But when I saw all those people I simply glanced at my husband and raised my eyebrows ever so slightly. He nodded his head in return without looking at me. If anyone had been in the car with us, they wouldn't have caught this little exchange. They would have concluded (erroneously) that our silent hours together meant we were bored with each other, had grown apart, and thus stopped talking. What they couldn't know is that my husband and I were having a complete conversation inside our heads.
Me: “Mmm-hm.”
Him: “Yep.”
